Slow Realization

A year ago, my life was so different. I had been lonely for a long time. Not just weeks or even months. It had been a couple of years. Now that Roland was a truck driver, he was gone for days, sometimes a week at a time. We had made the difficult decision to leave the church we had been attending for 10 years, and I wasn’t ready to be getting involved in the new church we had joined. I had no friends to visit with. No one called to see how I was doing. Two of our sons live within 10 minutes of us and attend different churches with their families. I’m thankful that they are involved in the ministries there, are responsible employees for the companies they work for, and are following Roland’s example as husbands and fathers. But it doesn’t leave much time for visiting with extended family.

I wanted some companionship. So, I found Gracie online at a rescue agency in Augusta GA, two and half hours away. She was perfect – a 9 lb. Yorkie mix who just wanted companionship. At first, I took her everywhere with me. She made it easier for me to get myself out of the house. Then stores started putting up signs saying no pets allowed, only service dogs. I had to leave her at home when I did any shopping. That was hard, but there was nothing I could do about it.

Then my life began to change. The grandkids started coming over more often. I made some friends at church that came to visit. Gracie showed signs of distress when there was commotion, whether it was people or noise. Leaving her home for more than a couple of hours at a time started causing troublesome behavior. That’s when the first thoughts of returning her to the rescue agency began. By the time I accepted it, I knew it would be best for her, no matter how hard it was for me. I did some crying, but still knew it was the right thing to do. A friend encouraged me with the thought that God had created Gracie, given her to me, and would take care of her.

The day I returned her was bittersweet. Gracie loved riding in the car, and I enjoyed her company. But I knew saying good-bye to her would be so hard. I wished I could have found someone closer to take her, but I had signed a contract that if I couldn’t keep her, I’d bring her back to them. I met the woman at Petsmart like I had the year before. She had another woman with her who asked me why I was returning a rescue that I had only gotten a year ago. After I told her, she introduced herself as the director of the agency and proceeded to verbally humiliate me as we stood outside the store. I walked away while she was still talking and the woman I came to meet followed me to my car. In tears I carried Gracie’s things from my car to hers. When I finally handed her over, I went back to my car and wept and prayed for about 15 minutes before I could think about driving the two and half hours back home.

A week later I felt I could check the online site of the agency to see if Gracie had been adopted yet without crying. What a shock to find they had accused me of just not wanting to take care of Gracie anymore. People commented saying horrible things about the heartless owner that returned her dog just because she didn’t want to take care of it anymore. Some of the comments were so vicious I was relieved that they didn’t know who I was, but I still felt the sting of the false accusations and condemnation. I wanted to defend myself, make them see the truth. Oh, it’s hard enough to have my wrongs exposed, but when my good deeds have been intentionally misconstrued, I want vindication!

In my pain and anger, Jesus reminded me that He knows how it feels to be wrongly accused, humiliated, and condemned. He stood before religious leaders accused of blasphemy, the highest Jewish crime. He stood before the civil government accused of treason, the highest Roman crime. Neither were true. His good deeds had been misconstrued.

Oh, the comfort of knowing someone empathizes! He not only took our sins to pay the penalty for them, He also was made like us in every respect, so that He might become a merciful and faithful high priest (Heb. 2:17). Because He was tempted in every respect as we are, we have confidence to come to the throne of grace knowing that we will find mercy and grace to help in our time of need (Heb. 4:15-16).

And so, I learn from Him how to stand silent amid false accusations. As His accusers spat out lies with self-righteous indignation, He remained silent. He knew who He was, He knew the truth, and He knew who His judge was.

I am a redeemed daughter of God. As my Judge He requires that I do justice (do what is morally right), love kindness (be kind), and walk humbly (be genuine). If I’ve done those things, I stand blameless, no matter what is said or thought about me. My need for vindication can been replaced with confidence in my innocence, so I can remain silent.

For so many years I heard and talked about how we should be like Jesus, but no one ever showed me how. Anyone who exhibited any likeness to Jesus was hailed as having reached a level of spiritual maturity not attainable to many people. My best efforts would have to be enough. Really? That’s not what Jesus says! I’d like to invite you to believe that not only can you be like Him, He desires that for you.

“We have more freedom than we think. We have more power than we believe. We have more authority than we realize.” ~ Alan Fadling

2 thoughts on “Slow Realization

  1. What a comfort to know that not only is Jesus with us now, but he’s already been there before. So he understands when others don’t. What peace this brings. Thank you for this encouragement, Rhonda.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This reminds me of a favorite verse.

    “It was by faith that Moses left the land of Egypt, not fearing the king’s anger. He kept right on going because he kept his eyes on the one who is invisible.” ~ Heb 11:27


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